At the time, I was attempting to purchase a house in Trumansburg, NY. There is no good luck and there is no bad luck. There is what is. And what is not. What is not is the purchase of that house. At the time that things began to fall apart in way of the deal I'd been attempting to forge with the bank was an eventual realization that I was attempting to cram the proverbial square peg in a round hole. Leave it be said that is it was a reasonably easy lesson in recognizing that some things should not be forced. At every turn, that attempted deal was a painful, gut-turning process for me. At no time did I trust the people with whom I was dealing and the foundation on which the entire "house" of cards had been erected had been a lie - I was attempting to convince the bank that I was making the house my primary residence while still maintaining my current job. Either it would be my home and I would no longer be with my current employment or I would have kept the job and purchased the house as an "investment property" for rental income. The convoluted nature of these sorts of subterfuges gives me stomach aches and this instance was certainly no exception. The deal fell through.
In its wake was a resumption of my life as it had previously been. Building boats and focusing on the task at hand: completing the one remaining project I'd been placed in charge of. Since that episode dissolved and left me in the place of "business as usual", I made a conscious effort to dispose of too many far-flung thoughts about the future.
As a result, being Present has been very helpful in avoiding the kind of unwarranted and unnecessary stress that accompanies the act of obsessing over things yet-to-be. Have I completely abdicated the reverie of day-dreaming about where I may be and what I may be doing? Hardly. But neither have I been so bound up with detailed plans.
In fact, the only thing I've hoped to do upon my return to upstate NY is one thing: immediately commence construction of a humanure composting bin - the deluxe Joe Jenkins version with two bins book-ending a center roofed straw storage space. Of course, it requires the making of an actual compost toilet to be used immediately after making! THAT is the only thing I've actually had my heart set on accomplishing.
Some other ideas that have bubbled up that I would very much like to pursue include the following:
- Traveling around to various individual's businesses and enterprises and interviewing them for a blog called Raven's P.I.C.K.S. (Profiles In Community Knowledge & Sustainability). I'd like to write this blog (perhaps in lieu of the current one - renaming it) and also submit the editorial/interviews/articles to any publication that would be interested in carrying it. The idea of doing it as a video blog is appealing - albeit a bit scary to me since the mechanics of doing online video seem to elude me - for the time being! I love the idea of taking my nephew/Godson with me to assist and join in the process of doing this work. I also love the prospect that this will be an exceptional way in which to network with many, many people in the region.
The latter of these benefits seems like a direct tie-in to the creation of the Spirited Raven Energy Cooperative. It will be a means of entre to individuals, groups and businesses that would have otherwise proven potentially difficult to converse with, let alone enlist into a crop-based ethanol fuel distillation operation.
As it stands currently, I've been given a wonderful blessing in the form of a business opportunity and the means by which to pursue the sort of homesteading I've been long dreaming of. Just the mere thought of returning Home to be in the place I love dearly and potentially have a chance to plant and grow a permacultural space and enterprise that is strong and resilient and giving and building of community and family; that is the blessing I am most grateful for.
This has been a bit of a ramble but a long overdue entry that, in its own disjointed way, gotten some things that had been bottled up out onto the pages of my public forum. My inner thoughts are laid bare a bit to anyone who's interested in venturing into this place to read them. And that fact alone is a liberating feeling.
Until next time,
Peace,
Raven
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